"Why do you say you are invisible?", Rhonda asked.
"I don't know. I just feel that way.", she answered.
"But I don't understand why you would feel that way.", Rhonda responded.
"I don't know how to explain it.", she said with a shrug.
For as long as she could remember, this young woman shied away from the light by making sure she didn't step on the toes of others, living within her means, staying away from promiscuous men, being courteous to strangers, respecting her elders, and living a quiet life. But...she always thought that she remained under the radar by living such a quiet life.
You see...I spent the majority of my adult life struggling to embrace that I am not a child who must remain quiet and not speak unless spoken to. I was a stubborn child. I was not encouraged to voice my opinions with an adult who was willing to listen. At an early age, I had learned to remain quiet through pain, depression, transitions, and not speak up or step out. I discovered a hiding place that only God and I would dwell because...He would listen to me.
It took an extremely long time for me to discover that I was hiding and believing that I was invisible. Everyone around me could see and sense the gifts, talents, and the strong voice inside, except for me. I was like a child playing hide-and-seek. You know...the one who finds the best hiding place in the house and scares the mess out of you when you carelessly stumble upon them without a care in the world. Lol. Well...that was me. I have been hiding for so long that when it was time for me to emerge that I struggled to do so.
I was engulfed with a cloud of fear and doubt. I didn't understand why I needed to emerge. I didn't understand why I needed to reveal myself to the world?! I wasn't Simba from the Lion King. I was just Brittany. A small town girl from North Carolina. What do people want with me anyway? And would they even listen to what I have to say? I am a nobody, right?!
In this season of life, it was revealed to me that I am not normal. I am unique. I am one-of-a-kind. And I have a purpose. A purpose that I was called for...I cannot take this life that I have been given for granted. And neither can you. Revealing who I am is not going to be easy, but learning how to step out little by little is enlightening. What harm can be done by embracing who you truly are?
I am on a mission to discover the truth within. By doing so, I will begin to embrace ways to become greater.
Moving forward in life can be an overwhelming process, especially if you have to leave people, places, and things in the past. But...in order to move forward, you must let go. Letting go is such a freeing process. In your journey to discover your inner truths, you must let go of things holding you back from greatness. If you must let go of the fear, let it go. If you must let go of people, love them from afar. The voice inside that is telling you to act will only tug at you more and more. Don't allow your journey to come to a halt. Keep pressing forward.
BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF
You know...this is one of the hardest things for me to do. I can never pinpoint the great things within, but I can reflect and pinpoint all of the negative characteristics within myself. Crazy, right?! I have realized that this is the time in life when you need to identify the good attributes about yourself. You need to know why you were created to become more. Embracing positivity will change the way you view yourself and will ultimately help you handle life a tad bit better. Being honest with yourself also means that you must dig up what's under the surface of your heart and pay attention to any underlying issues. These issues can cause chaos from behind the scenes if you don't acknowledge it's presence and address them.
LEARN MORE ABOUT YOURSELF
It takes many people a lifetime to discover who they are. You can't learn who you are by being surrounded by people or snuggling up to your loving boyfriend/husband. No offense to anyone. The best time to learn about yourself is when you are alone. Take yourself on dates. Pay attention to what excites you, what annoys you, what makes you mad, what you are passionate about, and what drives you forward. No one will ever complete you and make you whole if you are half of an individual.
IN BETWEEN THE LINES
This is the tough part in the journey. You have open the door to your mental space and insecurities to face them head on, but you will encounter situations that will cause confusion on how to move forward. And that is okay. This will cause you to be stretched. As you encounter this portion of life, you are entitled to ask questions and set boundaries. Your mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being are your first responsibility. Don't allow yourself to slide back into a difficult place.
MAKE THE DECISION TO CHANGE
As you learn more about yourself, you must make the decision to make some changes. You can't move forward to greatness still holding on to attributes about yourself that will continue to hinder you. This was extremely hard for me. I cried, y'all! I never realized what I needed to let go of. Here a few things, I am letting go of: fear of the unknown, timidity and muteness, and my comfort zone. The last thing was hard for me! I am an introvert (INFJ to be more specific). I love my bubble! And when people come in that bubble unannounced a new war will break out somewhere in China. Okay...I'm kidding! But it is uncomfortable. Once you let go of some things, you need to embrace new things about yourself. I am going to embrace: how to love myself, speaking up with boldness, relationships with others, and God's plan for my life. Embracing the new you won't be easy. Once, you make a decision, set your mind on it, then anything is possible. Remember to take it day by day. And one step at a time.